Your Marriage isn’t just a Photo Shoot

Ok, first, I love photographers. Especially wedding photographers. They are some of the happiest and nicest people on earth. And if you want my personal opinion on which wedding photographers you should consider feel free to email me. Note, I’ve never even kind of been paid by one. So yeah.

I follow wedding bloggers because I like engaged couples and my goal is to see them cherish their marriage just as much as they cherish their wedding day.

Just a note, your wedding photos may be the only thing you invest in that will allow you to relive your big day, but even those will end up IN a fireplace rather than ABOVE a fireplace if your marriage isn’t invested in as well.

So I follow The Thirty-Something Bride’s blog which is how I ended up at an open letter to the wedding blogger community about how they suck. Go read it, if you’re interested, but for a quick synopsis the wedding photog is fed up with blogs showcasing weddings that are basically wedding porn (i.e. way too good to be true but are true thus making all weddings feel bad about themselves and insist on keeping the lights off).

Personally, I like looking at wedding photos. Especially, from brides and grooms who have taken a lot of time to be creative because that’s part of who they are as a couple. Do I get jealous, even though I’m three years past the whole wedding thing? Of course! Who doesn’t want their wedding floating all over Pinterest?

But can I shoot you straight for a moment?

Your marriage (the purpose of your wedding, remember?) is not just a photo shoot.

Whether you had mason jars or vintage suitcases is not going to change the fact that you’re probably going to have lots of fights about how big of a deal dirty dishes left in the sink overnight should be.

Getting personally styled from that dude from Say Yes to the Dress isn’t going to make it any easier when you are having to decide what expenses to cut when you decide you want to be a stay-at-home-mom.

And unless the people at the beautiful wedding venue are going to help you actually stay committed to your vows it really doesn’t matter where you say them.

I promise.

In this day and age, we are driven by images. Particularly images of perfection. We load up albums to Facebook in hopes that we can convince each other (and sometimes ourselves) that life is good and perfect and filled with leisurely strolls through fields in our wedding dress. And, just to be real, I wish I had a wonderful picture of me in my wedding dress walking through a valley of lillies just so I can know that, yes, Marie, there was a time you were that skinny.

But I digress.

Have fun with your images. Make your wedding something that represents you guys and your love. Capture the memories with photographs and video. But don’t make the image of your relationship the priority. Make your relationship the priority.