Photo Credit: Graham Binns
Most relationships are in the middle of fairly predictable dance.
He’s happy. She’s happy. He makes a wrong move. Maybe he forgot it was the anniversary of their first date. She pouts. He ignores her. She cries. He apologizes. She’s happy. He’s happy.
The dance starts all over again.
If you pay attention ,you and your partner probably fight about the same handful of infractions. Maybe one of you has abandonment issues and can’t stand anything that feels like you’re being left alone. Maybe you need control of the relationship and resent any time that you can’t have it. What starts the fighting dance in your relationship?
What steps do you take to communicate your frustration, anger, or hurt? Do you use pouting to ease your way into the fight, to give everyone a “head’s up”? Do you get quiet until the feelings pass because it’s not worth bringing up? Do you calmly explain your pain to your partner?
How does your partner react when you bring up the conflict? Does she get quiet? Does he try to avoid you until you look like you’ve forgotten why you’re upset? Does anyone ever have the balls to simply ask, “What’s wrong?”
How do you know the fight is over? Does it simply happen when everyone is tired of yelling? Do you know it’s over when one of you can crack a joke? Or are you the couple that enjoys a round of the ever popular “make up sex”?
Pay attention to your relationship’s dance. Are there any moves you really enjoy? Any that you’d like to see change?
