When I first moved in with my husband, I quickly learned that his cat did not like me. At all. Don’t get me wrong, the cat liked me fine when we were dating. When I was leaving every night. But now that I was around all the time? And was sleeping on his side of the bed? The cat was no longer a fan.
I tried everything to win the cat’s love. I tried talking to him. Cuddling with him. Giving him treats. All I got was a cold shoulder and an occasional hiss. I was miserable. And, to be honest, a little afraid that my husband would ask me to leave.
Then one day my husband made a suggestion, “Why don’t you start to clean his litterbox?”
Was this a joke? You want me to clean the litterbox? Clean the litterbox for an animal that HATES ME? I don’t think so, Buddy.
Unfortunately, I was desperate, and I wanted that stupid cat’s love more than I wanted to remain a litterbox cleaning virgin. The next day I cleaned the litterbox.
I cleaned the litterbox for a week, and do you know what happened? That cat quit hissing. And biting. And one evening, while my husband was out, he climbed into my lap and let me pet him.
“I’m finally speaking your love language!” I squealed as we cuddled on the couch. Finally, we were going to become friends. And I wasn’t going to be asked to leave. Life was good.
Have you ever found yourself spending lots of time and energy trying to communicate your love for someone only to be met with coldness? Or hissing. Are you trying to communicate in a way that makes sense to YOU? Or a way that makes sense to THE PERSON YOU LOVE?
Say “I love you” in a language your partner understands. Even if it isn’t exactly your definition of love.
