I had a table at a bridal show last year hoping to introduce brides to the idea of premarital counseling. I mean, most people think that premarital counseling is something only pastors do (so non-Christians don’t do it) or that it’s something that only couples who don’t like each other do (so couples with rose-colored glasses don’t do it). I wanted to let couples know that premarital counseling is fun (I’m fun, I swear!) and important (you are promising forever, right?) and that they should seriously consider it in the midst of decisions about flowers and dresses and sparkly unicorns.
Oh, no one else had sparkly unicorns at their wedding? Interesting.
Anyways, one of the brides at the show stopped at my table, read my sign, barely acknowledged my presence and said (very snootily) “Premarital counseling? I don’t need that” and walked away.
On the outside I had no reaction and directed my attention to the next bride on her way to the table. Internally, however, I gave the girl a stern lecture on the importance of preparing for a huge commitment (like marriage) and that I felt sorry for her fiance having to marry someone with such a snotty attitude.
Needless to say, I was peeved. And it wasn’t so much because she was snotty (though that was probably 58% of the reason). It was because of the attitude that implied counseling was only for couples who had a bad relationship. That stereotype upsets me because the couples that I’ve seen in premarital counseling are often some of the happiest and most well-adjusted couples ever. Now, I have had couples who had serious issues to iron out, but for the most part my engaged couples are doing everything they can to keep their marriage healthy. These couples aren’t waiting for affairs or years of drifting apart to learn to deal with their issues. These couples are dealing with it now, while they have happiness and love and sparkly unicorns on their side.
And I would just like to applaud all couples who have decided to INVEST in premarital counseling whether they “needed” it or not.
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It says a lot about a couple that is willing to invest in premarital counseling which can equip them with necessary skills for their marriage. They are thinking beyond the wedding day and want their marriage to lasts. Great post. Keep up the IMPORTANT work!
Out of everything that my parents paid for related to my wedding, we got the most value out of premarital counseling. I only wore my dress once, I only look at the pictures once or twice a year but we use the skills we learned in premarital counseling every single day.