This is history in the making. Nashville Marriage Studio has started AND completed a blog “series”.
Someone call News Channel 5. For realz.
We’re changing it up, though, and forgoing the video. I’m starting to feel pretty narcissistic having my face plastered all over the front of my blog…
Yes, I’m aware of this. And I’m sure that your grandparents have an amazing relationship that we all want to have one day. However, our grandparents got married in a completely different time and culture.
First of all, marriage used to be necessary for survival. One spouse worked while the other tended to the home and children. They had to make it work because for many marriage wasn’t just about love, it was about surviving. Divorce was not an option if you wanted food on your plate and a roof over your head.
Second, divorce was looked down upon. Like REALLY looked down upon. If you didn’t want to become essentially a leper in your community you figured out a way to make it work.
Third, we had stronger and bigger communities. Our grandparents didn’t expect to have all their emotional needs met by their spouse because they were surrounded with friends and family able to provide emotional support.
Modern marriages do not have these “luxuries”. We don’t need each other the way that we used to (although, this recession may be changing that). We no longer have a society that considers divorce the ultimate sin (which is a good thing, in my opinion). And many times our “close” family consists only of our spouse (and maybe kids) which means that we are expecting a lot more emotional support from one person.
The modern marriage is the first time in history that couples are getting married solely for love and connection rather than tradition or survival. Keeping the modern marriage alive requires a totally different skill set than what our grandparents needed. We need to have a clearer understanding of who we are as individuals and firm understanding of how to handle conflict in order to make it work.
Premarital counseling. Get it done.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Marie – Great Point!!
My Grandparents were married 63 years ago this December. Even with abuse in the relationship, they have stayed together – for better or (many times)worse.
I’d love to hear your take on the ‘New Skill Set’ needed for Marriage!
Thanks so much, Marry Blogger! And 63 years amazes me. I can’t even fathom what it means to be married that long, and what it took to do it!
And I will definitely get to writing about tools I think marriages today need… thanks for the inspiration!
If you have observed a peer of yours that he is not behaving well, it is best to advise him to visit a counseling session with psychotherapist to overcome his behavioral problems. This would also increase his self-esteem and well being as a person.