Nashville Marriage Studio was created to help Nashville couples design the marriage they’ve always wanted. One way we do this is through premarital counseling. Premarital counseling allows a couple to learn valuable relationship skills, deepen their commitment to the relationship, and increase their confidence as they prepare to walk down the aisle.
As we enter the beginning of the traditional wedding season I will be “doing” premarital counseling with popular fictional couples that we all know and love.
Big & Carrie
Mr. Big and Carrie are of Sex and the City fame. He is super wealthy and she is the ultimate fashionista. They are the tortured “on-again, off-again” couple that left us screaming at the television set whenever he pulled that “I can’t commit” junk. Despite all of the drama, however, we were all convinced that they were definitely meant to be.
Guiding Big and Carrie through premarital counseling would begin with determining their Relationship Strengths.
Everyone has relationship strengths, but few couples take time to recognize them. Identifying relationship strengths will help you navigate the hard times with more stability when you can use these strengths as a sort of lifeboat.
Big & Carrie’s Relationship Strengths:
Humor
These two know how to laugh together. They have used their humor to not only have fun together, but they also use it to diffuse the intensity of arguments. Taking time to laugh during a heated conversation can be a very healthy way to connect (as long as it’s done in moderation).
Passion
They were on a show that revolved around the topic of sex. Passion was not a problem for these two. Their shared appetite for physical intimacy is great for their relationship because it is a tried and true path to bonding for these two.
Individuality
Hands down their biggest strength is that they are two separate individuals. Big is successful in his businesses and Carrie is a professional writer. Each has found their own way in their world and developed their own identities. Having a solid knowledge of their selves means their couplehood will be stronger because of it.
The next part of premarital counseling for this lovely, though fictional, couple will be determining their Relationship Weaknesses.
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I think this could be a great exercise for couples. Any tips on how to identify those strengths?
Akirah, great question! Every couple has different strengths. One way to determine what your relationship’s strengths are is to think of how you “reconnect”. Couples are usually involved in a “dance” where you’re happy, get into a fight, and then reconnect. Some have amazingly long/deep conversations, some have sex (I would say that’s what Big and Carrie do). Being aware of this dance and how your relationship does it allows you to have more stability during hard times because you know that (fill in the blank with your strength) will come soon and you will reconnect.
Other ways to define your strengths are knowing the habits that you have that are healthy. Only speaking highly of your partner in public is a great strength, or being great at making mutual decisions. Big and Carrie are healthy in that they have great self-knowledge and don’t depend on the other to define themselves.
Thanks for the question, and I hope that helps you identify your relationship strengths.
Some couples think that they know each other well enough, as they have lived together for months and they don’t need any premarital counseling. Maybe they are right and maybe they are wrong. Some religions require counseling before they are allowed to get married.
When it comes to making a lifetime commitment to a marriage partner, too many people are not looking under the hood of their relationship. Investing in quality premarital counseling can prevent costly and emotional mistakes.
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