Do you remember falling in love with your spouse? Good stuff, right?
I remember back when Mark and I were dating when being stuck in traffic on the way to his house to watch movies was devastating because my time with him was ::gasp:: shortened. Today? Being stuck in traffic isn’t so bad because maybe he’ll have dinner already started by the time I get home. One can dream, can’t they?
Once you’ve been married for a minute or two
million it’s easy to forget how in love you used to be. How desperate you were for one more kiss. How you’d get butterflies from him saying your hair looked beautiful and you’d make a mental note to do your hair that way for the rest of eternity.
We all know it’s completely normal for those feelings to subside as your marriage goes on. It just isn’t realistic to keep that level of infatuation going AND be a well-balanced person.
But every once in a while you, as a married person, catch a whiff of the I-Love-You-So-Much-I-Could-Die feeling. Your heart will unexpectedly flutter when you hear y’alls song come on the radio. You’ll linger in an embrace for a moment longer before you leave out for Saturday’s errands strangely sad because you’re already missing him. You’ll spray the perfume he loves because he loves it and you want to see his smile, and not just because you’re starting to smell like sour milk.
I don’t think the mistake us married people make is in failing to keep the passion burning. I think the mistake is in not stopping to fully appreciate and feel the passion when it creeps up on us. We get so busy that we don’t take time to listen when our heart is trying to reawaken that desire. Or worse, we’re so angry or bitter towards one another that when we do feel that softness again in the relationship we become scared and crawl even further into the cave.
Stop and smell the passion today. Slow down and notice the romance that happens in your every day. Drum up the courage to let yourself love again, even if you’re scared. Especially if you’re scared.
Because once we let ourselves taste a little bit of that natural romance that is happening in your marriage you’ll start to crave it again. You’ll desire another touch. Another conversation. That craving for connection will grow. Because, as much as I hate to admit it, Ke$ha is right. Love is a drug.
What were some of your symptoms of being “in love” when you first met your spouse? When was the last time you looked at your spouse and felt so much love that your heart could burst open?