Mind readers. It sounds so romantic, doesn’t it?
I mean, can you imagine a relationship with someone who knew everything you were thinking?
Someone who could pick out the perfect birthday present without having to drop pesky hints.
Or know that you needed a hug or some physical lovin’ without you having to ask.
Or would apologize for hurting your feelings before you spent the evening pouting.
It sure would be great.
Unfortunately, the fantasy of finding your mind reader is just that, a fantasy.
We want to think that someone reading our mind is a sign of what a great match we are. But a relationship that depends on someone reading your mind will not last. Trust me.
Healthy, mature relationships that stand the test of time rely on honest and open communication. Not mind reading. And here’s why…
Communication is the only realistic way to let someone in
No one can ever know what you’re thinking except for you. Your thoughts and feelings are private until you choose to let someone in. Thinking you will ever find someone who “gets” you so well that you don’t ever have to talk is setting yourself up for disappointment. Letting someone know how you feel is the only way to get into someone else’s head.
Communication is the best way to get what you want
Telling someone what you want is the best way to get what you want. On the surface this seems like a pretty obvious statement, but so many couples, especially those chasing down the mind-reading fantasy, want their significant other to “just know”. The longer you wait for someone to intuit what will make you happy, the longer you’re going to wait to be happy.
Telling someone what you want accomplishes two things: 1) You get exactly what you want which makes you feel great, and 2) you give someone precise directions on what you want which makes them feel good, too (everyone loves performing a job well-done).
Communication builds intimacy and trust
Do you know what telling someone what you want or how you’re feeling does? It builds intimacy and it communicates trust. We don’t let our guard down with everyone and we certainly don’t go around telling everyone our dreams and fears. No, our inner world is only shared with those that we feel safe with. Sharing your thoughts and feelings tells your significant other, “I feel safe with you and I trust you to accept all of me, my thoughts & feelings included”. Knowing that this person accepts you, the good and bad, is what will get you through your hard times.
Mind reading is fine for average relationships, however, communication is what you’ll need for an amazing one.
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