A few weeks ago I watched a couple of kids catch a turtle. I didn’t realize you could go fishing for turtles. Or is it turtling for turtles?
Anyways, they pulled the turtle onto land and tried to get him to let go of the bait. They tugged on the line, they tapped his shell, they did anything they could think of before a lady closeby told them to stop before they got their fingers bit off.
In the midst of all of this the turtle, naturally, retreated into its shell. The turtle was scared, uncomfortable, not very trusting. I don’t think anyone watching was confused about why the turtle had retreated, we all understood it wanted to be somewhere it felt safe.
When your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/spouse seems to be shutting down in the middle of a fight think about the turtle. Is it possible that he/she simply doesn’t feel safe? Could it be that they are confused and their gut reaction is to run to get out of potential danger, just like the turtle? Is there anything that you can do (other than continuing the fight) to get your partner to feel safe enough to come out of hiding and talk to you again?
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great insight, marie!