Photo by Dan Tantrum

The same is true for our relationships.  Relationship boundaries, like windows and fences, allow us to feel safe.  Feeling safe in a relationship allows the couple’s bond to strengthen and grow. 

Put safety first in your relationships:

Speak for yourself
The only experience you can truly know and speak for is your own.  Telling your partner what he or she is thinking is a common way to violate a boundary.  Sentences that start with “You always…” or “You think…” should be avoided at all costs. 

Ask Questions
Instead of telling your partner what he or she is thinking why not ask?  Asking questions about your partner’s thoughts or feelings on a topic is like ringing the doorbell to their heart and asking to come in.  The courtesy will be much appreciated.

Encourage
Some of us grew up in homes where we did not feel safe emotionally or physically due to various types of abuse.  Our past has made it hard to feel safe anywhere.  If this is the case for your relationship make it a daily habit to remind each other that this relationship is a safe place.  Along with practicing healthy boundaries, the daily encouragement will help you two focus on the task of creating a safe place to love each other.

How do you practice safe loving in your relationship?  What parts of your relationship don’t allow you to feel very safe?