Financial Management for Newlyweds
Finances are the number one reason people decide to get divorced. Except that now we’re in a recession and maybe people aren’t as quick to get divorced. Either way marriages are hard and talking about money rarely helps.
We don’t like talking about money because it’s personal. Admitting to your future spouse that you have $30,000 in credit card debt can feel like admitting you have an STD. Neither is fun and you end up feeling kind of ashamed about it.
Talking about money with your future spouse is also scary. If I tell her that I don’t want to combine our finances because she has tons of debt, will I hurt her feelings? If I insist that we get a joint account will he think I’m being too pushy?
The problem is that NOT talking about money is exactly how you become the couple in divorce court citing finances as your ultimate deal breaker. Let’s avoid that, shall we?
Encouragement
The way the cards typically fall one of you is (more than likely) going to be naturally better with money. If you are the financial wizard in the relationship you automatically have a upper hand in the money conversation. Use this power carefully. Remind your better half that they have your unconditional love and support no matter how badly they screw up. If they know, and believe, this they are much more likely to talk honestly about money with you.
Joint vs. Separate
Have this conversation. Please. People come into marriages with expectations that they never say out loud because they assume their better half is on the same page. Assumptions kill relationships. Don’t assume. Talk. Tell the other person what you expect when it comes to combining the finances because resentment will build if/when your unexpressed expectations are not fulfilled.
Mint.com
I love this place and would recommend it to ALL couples. Millenials do all their banking online and Mint.com basically gathers all that banking in one centralized place. Not only that, but you can easily see where your money is being spent .Which is a great tool for keeping up with your Dave Ramsey inspired budget.
Don’t let money kill your love.
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May 29th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
We have our own separate accounts for the debts we came into the marriage carrying but we also have a joint account for our mutual obligations (mortgage, utilities, cell phone, etc.)
It was a tough talk to have but since then we haven’t really argued about money.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:13 am
Excellent! Thanks for sharing.