You have a jar and you have rocks in various sizes. Big rocks the size of your fist, pebble sized rocks and grain of sand rocks. The question is how do you get all the rocks into the jar?

Well, you put the big rocks in first. Then the pebbles. Then the grains of sand. Any other order would not be successful. Or so the personal development books say anyways.

So what are the big rocks in your life? What do you make sure makes it into your Franklin Covey planner, and what do you merely hope fits into the crevices of the important things?

Deep down I think we all know what the big rocks should be. They should be  our family, friends, and of course our special sweetie. But those are usually the ones we just wish we had more time for, and in the end they get the leftovers when it comes to time and attention.

A big reason that they fall into the crevices of our schedule is because we don’t have a plan (another self-help book nugget of wisdom: “Failing to plan is planning to fail”). So let me help you out:

15 minutes daily
1 evening weekly
1 weekend monthly
1 week a year

In an effort to help couples in Nashville do a better job with Love Management, I’m starting a weekly newsletter with ideas on how to work this time into your busy schedule. Just sign up here (and it’s free)!

]]> http://nashvillemarriagestudio.com/blog/real-life-couple/love-management/feed/ 0 http://nashvillemarriagestudio.com/blog/relationships/nms-date-activity-postcards-of-positivity/ http://nashvillemarriagestudio.com/blog/relationships/nms-date-activity-postcards-of-positivity/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:21:38 +0000 Marie McKinney-Oates, MMFT http://nashvillemarriagestudio.com/blog/?p=478 There’s a NMS Date going on at The Perch on October 24th.

To make it more than “just” a date Nashville Marriage Studio is providing you with a simple relationship enriching activity. This month’s activity is a postcard of positivity.

Cheesy? Maybe. Relationship enriching? Definitely.

When you tell your barista that you’re here on a Nashville Marriage Studio Date he’ll give you 2 stamped postcards. On those postcards each of  you will write a short love note to your honey. Maybe tell him how cute he is when he cries when the Titans lose. Or tell her how thankful you are that she chose you. Write anything that’s positive, encouraging, sweet, private… anything that you think will put a smile on your honey’s face.

Then drop it in the mail! And your honey will eventually get a sweet note a few days later and a reminder that she/he is loved. By you.

Everyone wins.

It’s a small thing. And maybe a silly thing since some of you live in the same house and it would be “easier” just to hand it to each other. But it’s these small & silly things that matter when you’re trying to design a relationship that’s truly amazing.

Then I go to McDonald’s. And I order lots of french fries and convince myself that potatoes are fruits.

My point is reading and doing are WAY different things.

Amazon has over 7,000 matches for books on ‘relationship advice’. Over 7,000 different books filled with tons of advice on how to make our relationships stronger, better, healthier.

All this and America’s divorce rate continues to climb.

We’re great at reading and seeking out advice to make our relationships better, but we’re not always the best at “walking it out”. And just like fitness advice, maintaining a healthy relationship is usually done with little steps. Like focus on why you’re thankful for your spouse. Or hug each other 3 times today. Or make out.

But just like the fitness advice, relationship advice goes in one ear and out the other if we don’t find a way to start practicing right now.

Which is why I’d like to introduce you to the Nashville Marriage Studio Date Night.

Most couples don’t need counseling or a week full of intense workshops, they just need a little “kick in the butt”. You know all those “little things” you should be doing to make your relationship better, but aren’t? Nashville Marriage Studio Date Night is here to help.

October’s Date Night activity is going to be a coffee date at The Perch (follow them on Twitter, too), a great little cafe in Brentwood.

On October 24th starting at noon you can stop by The Perch order some coffee and crepes (I’ve only heard amazing things about the crepes). Let them know you’re there on a Nashville Marriage Studio date and they’ll give you the Date Night activity.  The date night activity will be a simple & fun exercise for you and your honey to do that will remind you of some good habits to get into.

This isn’t counseling, or a workshop and you won’t even see Nashville Marriage Studio there. But you will have carved a small time out of your weekend to spend with your sweetie and shared in an activity that will improve your relationship in small but significant ways.

You don’t have to sign up, but I’d love to know if who all is going to show up so let me know in an email (marie.mckinney@gmail.com), on Twitter or on Facebook!

The couple goes back and forth letting each other know what they want and it’s usually this session where the couple’s eyes are opened to how much better their relationship can be when they learn how to communicate effectively. It’s my favorite session with a couple hands down.

Want to know what every couple asks for? MORE DATE NIGHTS!

Most couples feel like they’re in a dating rut and this is even before the “I do’s” have been exchanged. So sad!

Nashville Marriage Studio wants to help couples overcome this problem, and we’re going to start suggesting date nights for all of you couples wanting to make your relationship a priority. Our first date night suggestion is The Bekah Hailey Band playing at The Rutledge on October 12th.

The Rutledge

Part of a really great date night is making sure you experience something new as a couple.

And what is better than experiencing new music together? Another great part of doing a music date night is that you can buy the cd (or whatever you young people listen to music on now) and it’s kind of like you get a soundtrack from your date night.

Does it really get any better than that?