Nashville Marriage Studio

Bound Together is a premarital education workshop that I offer for couples who are engaged or thinking about getting engaged.

I believe with all of my heart that if you have the time and finances to invest in premarital counseling you really should (considering the avg. wedding in Nashville costs $20,000 and 8 sessions of counseling ends up being $210 I’d like to think finances isn’t an issue for most). There are so many things to consider and talk about before you get married  and premarital counseling is a great way to have those conversations.

That said, I know and respect that some couples want to invest in their marriage, yet don’t have the time or money to do so right now. And that’s where the Bound Together Workshops come in.

Bound Together is a premarital education workshop where you’ll look at and learn to work with your personality and love language differences. You’ll learn how to avoid typical newlywed problems regarding sex and finances. We’ll also practice communication and conflict resolution skills that will help you feel closer and more in love (as if that’s possible, right?).

Now that you’re all kinds of psyched about going to the Bound Together workshop (or premarital counseling!) here are the details about the event -

Dates for 2010

March 12 & 13
June 11 &12
September 17 & 18
November 19 & 20

Location

StudioWed Nashville at 1200 Villa Place, Apt. 402, Nashville, TN 37212

Time

Each event starts on Friday night from 6pm to 8pm. We’ll wrap it up on Saturday from 9am to  12pm.

Fee

$100/couple

Who can attend

Any couple that is engaged or thinking about getting engaged. This is also great for newlyweds who wish they’d gotten premarital prep, but didn’t.

Participation will satisfy requirements for you Certificate of Completion of Premarital Education for you TN marriage license. And what I mean is that you get a $60 discount on your marriage license. Yes, saving your marriage AND your budget.

We’ve all witnessed it. The husband who gets ridiculed by his wife in public for having a low paying job. The girlfriend who won’t let her boyfriend play poker with the guys. Jon and Kate in all those episodes where she berates him for not wiping the kids’ noses correctly AND HE JUST TAKES IT.

It’s every guy’s worst fear. That getting married, or settling down with one woman, will mean that his proverbial balls will end up in the proverbial jar.

And sometimes us ladies want it that way. We crave control and sometimes we do that by emasculating the men in our lives. Well, I’m here to give you 5 reasons to put the jar (and the knife) away…

5 Reasons to Keep His Balls OUT of The Jar:

1. It’s not attractive. Look at Jon up there with the sulking shoulders and angry eyes. Guys are not attractive when their spirit has been trampled on. No matter what your guy looks like, he will always be a million times more attractive when he’s enjoying life and feeling supported and affirmed by your relationship.
2. We wouldn’t put up with it. Seriously, how many girls would put up with a guy telling them they had to scrap their monthly book club meeting because he wanted her to watch him play World of Warcraft? Not many. We’d call him a control freak and roll our eyes. If he can’t do it to you, then why should you do it to him?
3. They have feelings, too. I know this is a shocker, but guys have feelings too. And it hurts him when you make fun of him for being a slob or having weird taste in music. Just because he doesn’t burst into tears every time you make a jab doesn’t mean he isn’t crying on the inside. Yes, I’m serious.
4. He isn’t a girl. He’s never going to really enjoy jeans shopping or dissecting the latest Lindsay Lohan gossip with you. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or that you guys are doomed because you don’t share common interests. No, it just means you’re with a dude and dudes are more interested in things that blow up and UFC fighting. It’s just the way we were made. Instead of trying to get your man to enjoy girl things, why don’t you cultivate your relationship with your girlfriends?
5. You’ll trust him more and he’ll love you more. Whenever you take away your man’s right to be, well, a man you’re also eating away at the trust you have in the relationship. How can you know he really loves you if you basically forced him to be sweet/spend time with you, right? Not only that, but a man who has ownership of his balls is immensely more loving towards his woman because he knows that he’s doing so on his own terms, not because he’s been whipped. Men despise that whipped feeling.

The Internet is buzzing with the news:

Conan O’Brien Rejects NBC’s Offer.

(gasp)

The debacle that is happening for NBC and their late-night lineup has left many people wondering how the whole thing will play out.  Is Jay getting his show back? Is Conan going to be Palin’s new sidekick on Fox? Will someone, please, figure out how to bring Johnny Carson back from the dead?

We soon realized that Jay would, essentially, be getting The Tonight Show back and many wondered how Conan would take the news. He could have been a diva. He could have claimed it wasn’t fair and hurled insults at NBC.

Except, he didn’t. Conan issued a response filled with respect, disappointment and integrity and The Internet fell even more in love with our favorite dorky, red-head.

After reading his statement about the loss of his show, here are 3 things teaches us about handling conflict with complete class:

Use of I-statements
Conan is in conflict with NBC. In his statement, he uses the word “I” 23 times and “NBC” 5 times. It may not seem important, but this simple tactic(talking about yourself rather than the person you’re in conflict with) is an easy way to remove any trace of an attacking or aggressive stance towards the other person. By talking about his thoughts and feelings, rather than how NBC screwed up or are a bunch of idiots, makes you more open to listening and less defensive.

Focus on the problem at hand
You know how you have those fights that start because someone forgot to put the milk back in the fridge and end as a walk down Memories That Make Me Hate You Lane? Conan had every reason in the world to let NBC know how much they suck. He could have pointed out every way that he has been wronged in the past decade or so. He could have, but he didn’t. Instead he focused solely on the problem at hand, the destruction of The Tonight Show brand and his desire not to  participate. Focusing on one problem at a time decreases confusion and, again, helps all parties feel safe and not attacked.

Touch of humor
Conan ends his statement with,

“I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.”

This may not make you bust a gut with laughter, but it probably made you smile. Sometimes in a conflict we take ourselves and the fight way too seriously. More than likely whatever you two are fighting about isn’t life or death. A lighthearted, slightly self deprecating, joke is always a wonderful way to ease the tension of an argument. It’s also a great way to inject a little positivity into the conversation while still trying to find a solution.

So maybe Conan lost his job as a comedian, but maybe he could try teaching a conflict resolution workshop or two.

My husband was recently given the unfortunate task of teaching me how to drive a stick shift. For two weeks we drove around an empty parking lot stopping and going until I could get into first gear without either a) stalling the car or b) crying hysterically because of the fear of it stalling.

I get that this doesn’t sound like a time in our relationship that will make it onto our personal highlight reel, but in hind sight it totally will. Here’s why:

Acknowledge each others skillz
It’s easy to think that your spouse doesn’t have much to offer other than companionship, sex, and being a sounding board after a crappy day at work. We lose sight of the fact that our partner has skills and abilities that go unnoticed all the time in a relationship. The first part of learning something new from your partner demands that you acknowledge one of your partner’s many skillz. Doing this is a great way to frame your partner in a positive light.

Humble thine self
After you acknowledge that your partner knows something you don’t know you will begin the practice of humility. Putting yourself in a position where you don’t know everything encourages you to ask more questions and become more open to answers. Cultivating this humble attitude may be one of the best things you can do for your relationship.

Bonding
All of these positive experiences (recognizing your partner’s talents and learning a new skill) will strengthen the bond between the two of you. This will be a pleasant memory that will be tied to your relationship and it will reinforce the idea that you can trust your partner to teach you something new.

And it’s always fun to have a crush on your teacher

So I’m just getting back in town from a lovely visit with the in-laws. Driving to Mexico was a beast, but we survived. Yay.

Anyways, there’s is tons to catch you lovely readers up on, however the most pressing issue right now is Unabridged Bride. Sign up for it now!

Oh. I bet you want to know what this Unabridged Bride event is exactly. Of course you do.

Unabridged Bride is an event where all of you lovely brides will learn about everything to make that walk down the aisle as complete as possible. We’ll talk about:

• Planning a wedding
• Working with wedding vendors
• Staying fit
• Being a concious during the wedding planning process
• Financial management
• Planning for the future
• and Developing your relationship skills (you’ll need that in marriage, ya know)

We’ll be at Weddings the Bridal Show on January 17th, so please come by and say hi. And sign up. For a discount. Everybody loves a discount.

If you’re still not sold on the idea check out these write ups from Ashley of Ashley’s Bride Guide fame and other Nashville brides who have participated in previous Unabridged Bride events:

Ashley at Ashley’s Bride Guide -
You’re Engaged! Now what? Series
What You Missed at The Inaugural Unabridged Bride Workshop

Krista at Becoming Mrs. Dial -
My 10-day Wedding Planning Recap, part 1

Cassandra at Sassy Bride on a Mission -
Unabridged Bride

Little Spoon at Big Spoon + Little Spoon -
Planning Tools via The Unabridged Bride Workshop
Thank You Unabridged Bride!

Sarah at Planning Sarah Elizabeth -
Emilie Friday (with a ps shoutout to Unabridged Bride)

So sign up and get your Unabridged Bride goodness on!