Nashville Marriage Studio

My husband and I don’t have children, but for some reason we were discussing the state of the Nashville public school system.  There are obviously tons of ways to improve the education system, and one way is to let teachers teach.

At some point in time someone decided that teachers needed to be role models, counselors, disciplinarians, administrators, and truancy officers.  All these other hats took away from their ability to do their most important job – teaching.

Instead of being tired from wearing so many hats, teachers should just start taking them off.  Define their role in student’s life (i.e. teach Algebra), and do only that.

What happens when the kids need a counselor?  Or someone to make sure they are not skipping?  Well, whoever has those jobs will do those tasks.  It shouldn’t be the teacher’s problem, and a simple “no” should settle it.

I realized the same thing goes for our relationships.  Sometimes we take on roles that we don’t really want.  Or give others roles that they aren’t able to take.  There may be roles that you play, but at the detriment of other more fun roles.  And then we become tired or frustrated because it’s simply too much.

What role did you expect to play when you began this relationship?  What role do you find yourself playing?  Are you happy with your role?  If not, how would you change your role?

She insists that you don’t compliment her enough.

He says you’re only with him for his money.

When you’re on the receiving end of statements like this, it’s human to become defensive. Defensiveness means no one is being heard. Two people not listening quickly becomes two people yelling.

Is it possible to love someone enough to listen, even when it hurts? If you conciously decide to not become defensive, can you hear her insecurity? Can choosing to listen allow you to hear his fear?