Nashville Marriage Counseling & Workshops | Nashville Marriage Studio

Are you… fine?

by Marie McKinney-Oates on May 20, 2013

I’m sure all of us have seen some version of the joke that when a woman says she’s “fine” she ~~probably~~ most definitely isn’t.

Mark totally relates to this joke because I’m the QUEEN of saying I’m fine when I’m clearly not. I feel like my reasons for this are usually valid. I usually AM mostly fine. But there’s just one little piece of me that is frustrated/angry/mad/sad/disappointed/hurt and until I know how I want to talk about that piece of me I will stay with fine.

Mark hates this. After I say I’m fine he usually turns into a thesaurus.

Mark: Then are you mad? Frustrated? Sad? Pissed off and too mad to talk? Confused?

That doesn’t usually get him very far because he usually sounds more exasperated than caring and, yes, Dudes of America, your tone of voice counts during the “I’m fine” conversation.

This weekend he took a whole new approach.

Mark: You seem… off.

Marie: I’m… fine.

Mark: I don’t think you’re mad at me, but you might be. You sure you’re ok?

Marie: Yes. I’m fine.

Mark: Ok, well you just seem like you aren’t as colorful. See, you are the vibrant colorful part of my life. So I notice when your color isn’t as bright as it usually is. It’s like there’s an overcast. And that makes me sad. I hope you’re ok.

I’m the color? In your life? And you’re sad? Because I seem “overcast“? You hope I’m ok?

My panties dropped.

I know not every girl in the world wants their husband to talk to them like they are a wounded peacock, but I couldn’t help but become Happy Fine instead of Emo Fine in 5.3 seconds.

Do you do the “I’m fine” thing? Why do we do this? How do you want your spouse to deal with your “I’m fine” moments?

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Babyproof Your Marriage with @TheSkillery

by Marie McKinney-Oates on May 17, 2013

We are teaching a great class, Babyproof Your Marriage, for new and expecting parents and we’d love for you to join us (or tell the new baby mamas in your life about it).

I remember when we first found out I was pregnant. I was elated. I remember looking at Mark and thinking, “I will never fight with this man again. We have created life together. Our DNA will be walking this earth in the form of the smartest, cutest, most amazing human to ever exist. How on earth could I ever get mad at or be disappointed in or get tired of the father of my child? Impossible.”

Bahahaha!

After a week of getting up every 2 hours, I was positive that Mark was the most selfish person to ever walk the earth. I mean, if he really loved me wouldn’t he grow boobs and breastfeed so that I could sleep? Jerk.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. Midnight feedings become toddler tantrums become forgetting to pick someone up from soccer practice become disagreeing on when she can start dating become we sent them off to college and I have no clue who I’m married to anymore.

One of the reasons that new babies can wreak so much havoc on a marriage is because child-rearing requires constant communication in the midst of constant stress. It truly is a recipe for disaster.

Babyproof Your Marriage is designed to take help you learn and think about communication in a whole new way. You’ll walk away from this class feeling connected to one another and like you’re ready to tackle one of the most important jobs you’ve ever been given as a team.

What will we learn?

What’s normal for Mom and for Dad as each of you transitions into parenthood,
Keeping conversations productive by knowing what you really want from one another,
Learning why feelings really aren’t that scary (talking to you, Dad),
Practical strategies for staying calm during stressful moments and for keeping your marriage a priority during these times.

Who will benefit the most from this class?

Expecting parents will get the most from this class. You’re not quite in the trenches so you’re able to really let the material soak in before you bring the bundle of joy home.

New parents (kids under 2) will also get a lot from this class. And Lord knows you could use a break, right?

What will we do?

Well, there will be lots of role playing. And I’ll expect the Dads to come ready to share their feelings whenever they are handed The Feeling Stick… JUST KIDDING.

This will mostly be a lecture class. No exercises. No role playing. No feeling sticks. You can ask questions as we go or you can sit silently and take it all in. We’ll have some movie clips for you guys to “analyze”, but that’s about all we’ll do in the way of “sharing with the group”. There will also be no icebreakers. I hate them.

Check out the class details at The Skillery.

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Hey Nashville Wives, want to get coffee?

by Marie McKinney-Oates on May 6, 2013

Hilarious, right?

I started a Meetup group: The Nashville Wives Coffee Club, and I’d love for you to check it out and/or join us!

I’m thinking once a month wives of all kinds can get together and talk about something to make our marriages better. I don’t think I’m surprising anyone by saying that it’s usually women that are concerned with keeping the marriage healthy, so why not share ideas with each other, encourage each other, and listen to each other over a cup of joe?

Our first meetup is going to be on Thursday, May 23rd at The Well Coffeehouse in Green Hills (details here). I am not the biggest person about structure (this is literally hanging out with strangers over coffee, not a class or a workshop or a lecture), but I was thinking that we could discuss personality types and how they impact our marriages. It will be a fun conversation, I’m sure.

Me and the 3 other wives that have said yes would love to meet you for coffee!

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